There’s someone in my life who I keep hoping for better out of and yet all they bring is confusion. One time they will be super nice, the next time they’ll do something that just throws your whole world upside down. I don’t understand this person. As soon as we start talking again they do something that trips all good progress up and makes you never want to talk to them again! They seem to try to sabatoge the good and then twist it all up to try to make you look bad. They twist things in a way that leaves you dangling and feeling lost and all alone.
I have dealt with this person long enough that you’d think I’d always be on top of the game and their manipulative, cruel, vindictive and self-centered ways would not be able to trip me up! You’d think I could rise above this and not be so affected by their meanness….but yesterday and today I have felt it full-on. I’ve felt the impact of their manipulation and have succumbed to the depression, anger and sadness that this kind of behavior brings. I’m saddened because I thought that they’d finally risen above this middle school behavior.
Today I am choosing to lean in to the promises of who I am in Christ… Because who this person makes me feel like I am is a direct lie from Satan! How is it that one person with very undesirable traits can have so much control to spin your world off its axis with just one brief, yet very cruel action?
I can only feel that this person is so desperately in need of being right and making them self look good by bringing you down that they will use any means to do so. I can’t even have a normal conversation with this person because they are so hell-bent on having their way be right and me bowing down and submitting to their mean lifestyle!
Today I am struggling…I am struggling to see myself as God sees me, not as this person tries to make me feel like I am. I feel like I’m swimming upstream against a torrent of lies and I’m losing the battle :(….the only conclusion I can come to today is that they are hurting so badly that they can’t stand for anyone else to feel good about life!
Please pray for me!