I just read a blog post about The Kissing Rain and was very touched … You can read it here:   seainthefish

It inspired me to  write today about life. Although my thoughts about life aren’t quite as sweet today. I have to admit that life has not been very good here lately. Things happen. Life goes on. But, it leaves you with a broken heart and a huge WHY? Unfortunately, that big Why has no real answers for me right now.

It’s time for me to crawl up into my Abba’s lap and cry for a while. I need His touch. I need His answer about the Why. I need to know that He still loves me and cares deeply for the pain in my heart. I need His arms around me like a little child crawling up into their daddy’s lap.

I never knew that touch from a father growing up. My daddy was not there for me. I never knew that touch of compassion in my marriage. My husband was not there for me. This seems to be an awful pattern in my life. I want this pattern to break. I don’t want my children to go through the same things I did. I want to protect them from that. But it feels like my hands are tied. I have no power to change anything. I’m only flesh and blood and my influence only goes so far.

But I do know that touch from my Abba Father. I do know the power that is His. I know it very very well. Because of the way I grew up and the way my marriage was, my Abba has been all things to me. He has filled the void that was left by the humans in my life who didn’t or couldn’t offer those things to me because of where they were in their lives. The touch that perhaps was not given to them by their special people because those people were hurting too. It’s a generational thing that seems to spiral out of control and I don’t have the power to stop it, as much as I long to.

Fortunately, I know that my Abba Father does. And I desperately need His touch, His love, His power, His heart of compassion, His lap and His arms around me today. If you want to say a prayer for me that I’m able to find those things and trust and give it all to Him today, that would also be a good thing. But ultimately, it’s Him that I need….

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9 Responses to

  1. Sandy says:

    Thanks Vicki–I relate to many of those feelings. I too know It’s time for me to crawl up into Abba’s lap…and I’m goin’ there today!

  2. Lisa says:

    Love you, my friend.

  3. vickyvp says:

    Thank you guys, I love you too!

  4. Laurie Wade says:

    Praying for my blogging friend…

  5. Joann Eyster says:

    Our Abba Father, Jehovah Rapha, healer of all things, even broken hearts and dreams. Praying that you will feel that touch!

  6. Awwww, Sis……..I’m so sorry I missed this. With my crazy schedule there are days that go by when I’m not on the computer, which means things can get buried quite easily. This was one of those things that got buried and I only discovered it as I was trying to clean out my inbox. (I am like 2049 unopened deep. Ugh! But you know, I am very confidant of this one thing….GOD didn’t miss it…..nor your cry for Him and ONLY HIM! You are so precious to me…..even more precious to Him! I know that when you even cry out (barely audible) that He runs to you! I love you, Sis! I will be praying even now, b/c I know that this part of the journey is never over. We will always need more….and He makes sure to wet our appetites for more with each touch!

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