I just read a blog post about The Kissing Rain and was very touched … You can read it here: seainthefish
It inspired me to write today about life. Although my thoughts about life aren’t quite as sweet today. I have to admit that life has not been very good here lately. Things happen. Life goes on. But, it leaves you with a broken heart and a huge WHY? Unfortunately, that big Why has no real answers for me right now.
It’s time for me to crawl up into my Abba’s lap and cry for a while. I need His touch. I need His answer about the Why. I need to know that He still loves me and cares deeply for the pain in my heart. I need His arms around me like a little child crawling up into their daddy’s lap.
I never knew that touch from a father growing up. My daddy was not there for me. I never knew that touch of compassion in my marriage. My husband was not there for me. This seems to be an awful pattern in my life. I want this pattern to break. I don’t want my children to go through the same things I did. I want to protect them from that. But it feels like my hands are tied. I have no power to change anything. I’m only flesh and blood and my influence only goes so far.
But I do know that touch from my Abba Father. I do know the power that is His. I know it very very well. Because of the way I grew up and the way my marriage was, my Abba has been all things to me. He has filled the void that was left by the humans in my life who didn’t or couldn’t offer those things to me because of where they were in their lives. The touch that perhaps was not given to them by their special people because those people were hurting too. It’s a generational thing that seems to spiral out of control and I don’t have the power to stop it, as much as I long to.
Fortunately, I know that my Abba Father does. And I desperately need His touch, His love, His power, His heart of compassion, His lap and His arms around me today. If you want to say a prayer for me that I’m able to find those things and trust and give it all to Him today, that would also be a good thing. But ultimately, it’s Him that I need….
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