I have a letter that I have to write. Maybe you remember me mentioning it in my post about one week ago. Well, the letter is still there, waiting for me to finish it. Actually, the truth is that it’s barely even started!! I have probably attempted to start it about 5 times now; however, I only get through the first paragraph before I end up hating what I just wrote and start over again.
I think it’s probably because I just don’t want to think about the things that I have to write about. Therefore, my mind keeps blocking my path to the information that I need to write this letter! Ever have that problem? Most people might call it “writer’s block”, but this truly goes deeper than that. The things I have to say in this letter are there but are just pushed way back and I’m having trouble retrieving them.
I think you might understand if you try to pull up a painful situation from your past that you have consciously moved away from in your mind. You know that if you bring it up again that you will probably spiral down pretty fast and most likely end up in tears. So, your mind really doesn’t allow you to pull up the information. Or perhaps it’s that you have stuffed it for so long that every time you try to recall it your mind shuts down and warning lights and buzzers start going off. Your mind is saying “Entry Prohibited” as the red flashing lights warn of an intruder even though the intruder is you!
The mind is funny that way. Maybe it’s self-protection, but have you noticed that your mind wants to only remember the good things and works extremely hard to keep the not-so-good things tucked safely away. Guess that’s where the saying “out of sight, out of mind” comes from!
All of this is multiplied and complicated by the small fact that I also suffer from that “disease” called Procrastination! ugh! The letter is due tomorrow and I haven’t got a thing down on paper yet….