Okay so I’m going to tell you a story. I do realize that story time was Monday. But, I missed Monday because my whole week has been Topsy-Turvy and I really didn’t write much of anything this week. So, you can look at it that I’m just going out of order this week…if you want to. And by the way, this is a funny predicament, so you have my permission to laugh, or cry, or just sit there and stare – whichever you choose!
Well the reason I’m all out of order is because I’ve been sick all week. The first day even the medicine didn’t really help…but, each day has gotten progressively better.
Today, as long as I took my medicine I felt pretty good. I may cough occasionally, but other than that I felt fairly normal again. So when it came time to leave work I thought “I should really take my meds before I go home” but I didn’t. As I’m driving home I look in my rear view mirror and see the diapers I was suppose to take back to Walmart … Wrong kind … So I thought okay I’ll just stop really quickly…it’ll only take a minute.
I park the car, far away from the entrance simply because there are no parking places nearby (do people just live at Walmart?), grab the diapers and head into the store. I step right up to the customer service counter as if I’m the only customer in the store (that never happens) and start to speak to the teller when it starts. The action of speaking brought on a coughing fit that I couldn’t control. It was like at that very moment the medicine wore off and I was my sicko self! I seriously could not stop coughing. However, I was determined to finish what I came to the store for and proceeded with hand signals, through coughing tears, trying to suppress the coughing which simply made it come out in loud squeaking and exploding noises, I communicated that I wanted to return the diapers. Cash back please….
Then I thought I need to get some cough medicine in me… So I went as quickly across to the other side of the store as I could manage. People don’t generally like people like me who are coughing around them..and I should have just gone home… But at this point I was coughing so hard there’s no way I could drive home. So I plunged on ahead. Suddenly the store was completely full and I couldn’t get to the pharmacy without stopping and waiting for people… This is when I realized I seriously needed to pee!! Yes, I said it, I needed to pee… Really badly! It was all that coffee that I drank today when I was feeling better because of the medicine – that made me feel sleepy! Ugh…
Okay detour to the bathroom. I was about 1/2 way to the pharmacy and yes, people were staring as I stood there, with my legs crossed, coughing my head off and trying desperately not to pee my pants.
I get to the bathroom and guess what???? Did you guess it was blocked off with a “closed for maintenance sign?” Well then you would be exactly right! Seriously? Oh my gosh… What was I going to do now? I looked at the men’s bathroom which had a line of men waiting to use it!! What?? That NEVER happens! And now they are all staring at me! Oh Sheesh!!
Okay – so pee my pants or not I make a beeline for the pharmacy, tears running down my face because I am still coughing my head off. I seriously could not stop. I get to the pharmacy, all dignity now gone and tear into the cough drops…of which there’s a million to choose from. I happened to grab the halls and took one… Worked like a charm. The coughing stopped completely!
I stood there for a moment to regain my composure as I felt like I just ran a marathon!! By the way, just in case you were wondering I did NOT pee my pants! okay move on now from trying to picture me standing there in Walmart with peed pants and a crowd gathering to cheer me on – on my coughing marathon across Walmart!
As I stood there recovering and sucking on first ONE, then TWO, then THREE cough drops (just to make sure) I began to think about my trip across the entire store and came to the following conclusions.
1) I must have looked totally rediculous on my trip from one end of the store to the other.
2) with all the people that stopped and stared during my predicament, not a single person offered to get me a drink or a cough drop or even a piece of hard candy to help me in my time of need!!
3) a lot of people that did not help sure did stare!!
4) I will probably see some of these people again…
5) maybe they won’t recognize me… I’ll wear a disguise next time I go to the store.
6) I will always carry cough drops on me when I am sick.
7) I will always carry cough drops on me in case someone else ends up in my predicament and I’m there to help them.
8) I will NEVER just stand and stare when I can offer someone my assistance!
9) Never let your medicine wear out…
10) listen to that gut feeling you get!!!